Don't you hate it when you think someone's waving at you and you wave back, just to notice that the person was actually saying hi to someone behind you?

Or someone calls your name and you turn to see who's calling you, just to notice that there's someone else named as you and that nobody was calling you?

If it has happened to you and it was embarassing, and if the memory still lives in your mind, and it still haunts you every now and then.

If everytime someone waves at you, you look around you, just to be sure that the person is waving at you.

If everytime someone calls your name, you wait to be called twice, just to be sure that it's you.

Ok, chances are that you don't know what I'm talking about in the second part, don't worry that's because you're not a psycho teenager, self-conscious, and...did I said psycho? Embrace it, you're free from many insecurities.

If you understand the whole problem and its psycho consequences. Welcome to the "Psycho Teenager Club". It doesn't matter if you're not a teenager, we are all teenagers every now and then. You'll receive your free membership and T-shirt tomorrow. =)

The point is, that if this troubles you, maybe the following story will make you feel better about yourself, knowing that somebody is just as troubled as you are because of this issue in today's society. Seriously, that needs to be fixed. And if you're not a member of the club, I think it will still entertain you for a while.


It seemed a regular August day, everything was normal in my life, and by "everything was normal" I mean, everything sucked in an amusing way. My comprehension of subjects was poor, my math grades could be worse but were not good enough (67), I was socially invisible for most of the people surrounding me...It all mattered to me, but when he appeared everything was a blur, except him: my crush. And I looked at him, the same way I've been looking at him, since I saw him for the first time (almost two years ago). He appeared a few times during the day, and he provoked the same feeling. The feeling of wanting someone unreachable traveling through my veins, and still enjoying every glimpse. Then it happened, I knew he was walking behind me, suddenly he called my name, or that's what I thought. He even called it twice. I turned around and noticed that he wasn't calling me, but another girl with my stupid common name. And the bad thing was that he saw me looking at him, and he noticed "the misunderstanding"

Ok, that's it life. You can't fire me, I quit! I'm done with you, we're over.

Actually I'm OK by now, but I still can't believe that this happened to me. I've been protecting myself from this kind of situation for years. Seriously. All the psycho procedure I mentioned before. But what could I do? He called my name twice. He was walking behind me. He has called my name before.

On the brightside, he won't forget my name for today. And I'm glad that something actually happened today, if not...I wouldn't be blogging about this right now, and you wouldn't be reading this right now. And you wouldn't leave a comment, about this. Ok, maybe you won't.

Last but not least.

Psycho teenagers unite!



XoXo
Gaby

P.S. I've just noticed that my anecdote seems a little tragic. It wasn't supposed to be that way. It was fun analyzing my behavior towards this kind of situations. I think I can forget about it in a few weeks. That's why I'll immortalize it, by blogging about it. =)

I'll have a math test on Monday, I should be studying right now. But instead, I'm blogging. As I always do. I don't even know how am I to study, I've studied before. But I would like to study in a more efficent way. I have a few bad friends called: procrastination, disorder, and laziness. If you have any tips, I would really appreciate it.

I don't have much to say about today, so I'll just share with you some lyrics that I love. They're from the song "Teaching Myself To Dream" by Katy Rose. I don't know if my interpretaion of them is right, but if you have any idea, let me know. =)

I throw myself into the rain,
as we run down these old train tracks again,
The moon is naked in the sky,
so maybe you and I could fly, or pretend,

As the stars fall from grace,
and light your glowing face,
I'm teachin' myself to dream,
I'm holding my breath to scream,
I'm teachin' myself to believe in the things I don't understand,
I don't even know if they're true,
that's what dreamers do,

Can't say what day it is or year,
but thou shalt have no fear,
for I know your name,

You can't believe what I did,
and maybe I'm just a kid,
but then we're the same,

I watch the hours through the glass,
and know the time will finally pass,

I'm teachin' myself to dream,
I'm learning what love can be,
I'm teaching myself to,
believe in the things I don't understand,
I don't even know if they're true,
That's what dreamers do,

Stapled eyes can't open until waking,
and all your lies will be your undertaking,

I let mind dance and flow,
we'll make magic and I'll know,
as the lilacs slowly grow,
all my dreams are true

XoXo
Gaby

P.S. Sorry for being boring today. But don't forget to visit my roomie Stir Fry Kitty, she's not boring at all.

Today was a boring, slow...boring day. Yeah, I repeated the word boring. But don't worry, I'll still try to entertain you. I won't promise anything though.

You know the typical teen love movies? And there's this typical popular high school girl, and at some point of the movie, she makes a confession to someone she trusts: "I know I'm always surrounded by friends, but I still feel lonely." Yeah, I never understood the meaning of that. But yesterday I finally did, I kind of felt like that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not popular or anything. Actually, in a typical teen love movie, I would be the biggest loser there. LOL. Ok, maybe not the biggest loser, but still a loser, the kind of loser that's fun to look at because of all her stupidity. Oh, I've just noticed that I repeated many times the word loser, I guess I am a loser.

Anyways, I realized that I have many friends, but somehow they're never there. So, I still feel lonely. It's not their fault, it's not mine either. But it still happens. Some of them have a boyfriend, and I understand that they can't share the same amount of time they used to with me. Some of them are far away from here, so that's even more easy to understand. Some of them are no longer my friends, so I don't expect anything from them. Some of them are annoying, so I don't really want them to be with me. And that leaves me...alone.

I don't know what to do with myself.

NoTe: I really have to add that I'm referring to typical losers from teen movies, I'm sure there's bigger losers than me being popular. I also have to add that not all popular girls are mean, I know some that are actually cooler than some of us losers.

I feel like I have to say...VOTE FOR PEDRO. Yeah, I'm a loser lover. I love Napoleon Dynamite. And I love geeks, nerds, punks, preps, ... Yeah, everyone's welcomed. =)


XoXo
Gaby

Hi people!

I'm renting my blog to someone new, she's Bianca Roland and her blog is named Stir Fry Kitty. I really like her blog because I enjoy reading the entries, and I love her template. In her latest entry she talks about her Low-GI diet. She also haves a food/cooking blog, I just checked it out and there's a recipe for mexican lasagna. I've never tried it, I should, sounds yummi. Please visit her, I promise you'll have a good time. If you do, let me know, and I'll visit your blog too, and try to leave a comment. =)




I'm listening "Rosa Pastel" by Belanova, I love that song, don't know why...maybe the lyrics.

Y donde quedo , ese boton que lleva a la felicidad luna de miel, rosa pastel
cliches y tonterias y al final ni hablar los dos nos destruimos y al final que
tal tu y yo ya no existimos

Here's my translation. I'm not good translating, but here it is:

And where did it go, the button that leads to happiness. Honey moon, baby pink, cliches and silliness. And in the end, we destroy ourselves. And in the end, you and me, don't exist.

If you have a chance to download the song, and you like pop music, you should listen to it. =)

By the way, if you want some more of my lame translations, tell me, and I'll do my best.


XoXo
Gaby

I was just sitting here thinking: What can I possibly write today, since I didn't do anything exciting this weekend. I just stayed at home, doing homework, laundry, watching TV, sleeping...you know.

Then I thought: "Maybe I can find something interesting in my diary". So I opened my diary randomly and I found something, that made me think about "Anonymous letters", you know, letters you send to your secret crush, but you don't want him to know you are his secret admirer.

After thinking about all my experiences with these letters, I asked myself: Has it worked for anyone? Because the letters that I've sent have been a complete disaster. Maybe some details about my experiences would help...

• I made my first letter with newspaper cut outs, I don't remember exactly what I wrote but it was something like this: I see you everyday at first period class....blah blah blah, I like you. During lunch time, I went to his locker (wrong one, by the way), and just slipped the letter in there. After that, while I was near the crime scene, waiting for the boy. I saw some mischevious random boy stealing the letter, from the already wrong locker. He read it...grinned, and showed it to a math teacher. She also grinned, and I seriously want to believe that the showing and grinning stopped there.

• This one, fortunately was not embarrasing for me, but for my friend. It was Valentine's day, and there were some of our friends delivering letters for a cheap price. So three of my friends and I decided to send some anonymous letters. One of my friends sent hers to a boy that we didn't even know. The letter was delivered, only to find out that we had the wrong name. OoOps, my bad...I was so sure about his name. After that little disaster, my friend wanted to sent it again, with the right name. So she did, and the boy was really surprised about it. After that, we found out that he examined it really close, and that he thought it was a joke or something, because it said "I love you" in different languages, and the wrong name was scratched out. That was hysterical, still is.

So, now, I'm left wondering if these "anonymous letters" have worked for anyone. And if so, what's the key to success? Does anyone have more humilliating experiences with these letters than me? I think there is someone out there...Please share!!

I know my mistakes were stupid, but I still hope that someone learns from them.

XoXo
Gaby

Hey everyone!

This is called "Think Before You Speak"

I hope you like it.

Note: I used the nickname "Eye Candy" to protect the identity of the guy that I like.

I was talking with my friend outside of the classroom, and we were watching some stupid girls following everywhere a guy because he owns a BMW.

She: Look at them, they just follow him everywhere because he owns a BMW.
Me: Yeah, wouldn't it be fun if one day they find out it's not his car or something like that?
She: They would suddenly, not care at all about him.

Me: I can't believe they're like that. I would follow "Eye Candy" even if he had no clothes at all.
Moment of silence.
She: Actually, that sounds like a great idea.
Me: Yeah, now that I think about it, it is.
Hi five.

I didn't mean it to sound that way, I swear. It was the first thing that came to my mind. And it wasn't supposed to be that way, I just wanted to show that I don't understand how can they be such material girls.

An hour after that...I think I made quite an impression. I thought I was late to class so I was running to my class also with my friend, and I don't have the best physical condition, so when I reached the third floor...I kind of...screamed...a little. And great...Mr. Cute Anonymous was there, and he heard me, and he saw me. Hopefully he has forgotten it already, but I've done many stupid things, and I don't know if he can possibly forget all of them. On the bright side, finally he noticed me.

After all these embarassing events, here comes a sad thing. Today I wrote to my pen pal: "I think they're going out, and if they're not going out, they will, and if they don't...he's gay." I wrote that while I was watching him with her, not pretty, not pretty at all. When I got home, I was so sick and tired, of school and things, that I just slept for three hours. I wanted to cry and scream so badly, but I couldn't. I don't know why, it had always been simple to cry and scream. But not anymore. I'm sorry it this is boring. But I hope you enjoyed the first part of this entry. =)


XoXo
Gaby

What can I possibly tell you about today?

Let me think about it. Oh, yeah.

I think I'm obsessed with someone new.

Ok, I'm not obsessed...not yet.

What do I mean by that?

That I probably will be obsessed, I can feel it.

I like him a lot and I don't even know his name. That's a sign.

I can't stop looking at him, I don't even care if he notices, by the way...he has noticed...twice. That's another sign.

Today I saw him with another girl and I'm actually feeling bad about it, a little sad...and considerating the fact that I don't even know him...There's another sign.

I could go on, telling you a thousand signs. So, I'll just tell you, that this can't be good. It feels great sometimes, because it's happiness and excitement, but it can go so wrong. In so many ways.

And I must confess, when I'm obsessed I turn into a complete stranger. I do stupid things, I know I know...I always do stupid things. But when I'm obsessed I do weird stupid things, not typically mine.

Finally, after describing myself as obsessed, and repeating the word obsessed over and over again, I must tell you that I don't know if the word obsessed is the best description of my state, situation, or issue. It's just that "I fell in love" sounds a little too much, you know, considerating the fact that I don't know him. =(

If you have any suggestion I would like to know about it. =)

XoXo
Gaby

It's raining men!!

It's raining hot men!!

Seriously!!

More details here--->>>Today I stayed at school until 7 PM, because I wanted to go to art class in the afternoon. It was pretty cool, I thought I would be completely alone but I found a friend to stay with, and it was really fun. I even did some of my homework. And laughed a lot. =)

I know, you're probably wondering...where are the hot men I was talking about. Patience, patience...I went to get some food to the cafeteria, and there he was, a gorgeous college boy, with a striped shirt, and glasses that made him look intellectual, I'm not sure but I think he's from Germany. There's many students from Germany studying at my school, which makes me wonder, why do they even come here if there's great schools at Germany. Well, if I ever get to know him, I'll ask him that. That's for sure. =)

I went to art class, and two more of them were there, one was a college boy and the other one was a year younger than me. Actually we didn't have a real art class because there were no tables...I know I know...it's really stupid, but it's not my fault. I pay my tuition...still there's no tables. I'm just kidding, I'm sure there will be tables by tomorrow. And if not...I will let you know, I will let the world know. Trust me.

Then after my short art class, I went to walk because I had nothing else to do, but to search hot stuff. And I found a lot of them. They were everywhere...some in salsa class, drama club, photograph club, exercising, doing homework...all over the place. I even socialized with one of them, and made eye contact with another one. Oh...life is good.

XoXo
Gaby

Today, I'm renting my blog to someone new. She's a working mother and her blog is: "Have a great rest of your day". I love her layout, really pretty, and in her latest entry she shares some pictures of her little daughter Katy playing with her plastic duck in the swimming pool, and out of the swimming pool. Really cute...you should definitely see them. At the moment, there's no thumbnail available of her blog, but mine is also a mess, so I can understand that. So, visit her, leave a comment, it will be fun. I promise. =)

XoXo
Gaby

This week has been overwhelming, I'm so confused and I just want to scream. School has been okay, I've just realized what normal students do: homework. Since I have not much friends left at school, I'm focusing in studying. I've been doing all my homework, going to all my classes, paying attention, taking notes, etc. Feels good but I get tired.

The overwhelming thing, are my friends. They're so complicated, and it's getting out of control. I try to be a good friend but somehow I always fail. Today a friend made it pretty clear, when she told me that I always leave her behind and that I forget about her. That's funny, it really is, because when I'm with her it's cool, but if someone else comes (someone more interesting than me), she forgets about me. Sometimes I feel as if she would rather hang out with other people. I don't know how to fix it. I kind of know that I have to talk to her, but I don't want to. It would get ugly.

XoXo
Gaby

Hi people!

Did I sound happy? I think I did. Well, maybe I am. First of all, I don't know if you've noticed but I'm renting my blog to a blog named: Why Can't We Be Friends? So I want to invite you all to check it out, I really enjoyed reading his latest entry. If you like my blog you'll definitely like his. It's pretty cool.

Follow the thoughts of a small-town college radio dj muddling through two jobs
and full-time school. Not always exciting, but always something to talk about.

Today has been OK, I have to read "A Passion in the Desert" by Honore Balzac for tomorrow. I won't complain about it because I really enjoy reading, and it's not hard to understand it, not like Shakespeare or Sophocles. I will read it, and try to sleep early. I want to sleep eight hours...I've never done it before. =)

XoXo
Gaby

Something really annoying happened today. I was in french class which I already hate. Then one idiot innocent boy, asked me: "Hey Gaby, how old are you?". I just smiled, while thoughts of murder ran through my mind, and answered: "Seventeen". He didn't believe it: "Really?". And I answered sweetly and laughing: "Yeah". I turned around and I could feel my face burning, I wasn't sure if it was because I was embarassed or angry, but I'm sure I was so red.

I know this doesn't make sense, so I'll explain it to you. I'm seventeen, but I don't know how I've always managed to seem younger, maybe twelve, I'm not sure. And I just hate it, hate it. I don't know, I just guess it's not really cool when people tell you: "No way kiddo", when you say you're seventeen.

I try to be cool about this age thing, but I'm not a patient person. So everytime there's someone giving his/her opinion about my age I have to count up to 10 and take deep breaths. I also try to see the bright side about it, I just think about how someday I'll like looking younger, being 40 and looking 35 or something...I don't know. All I know is that I could die tomorrow, so I don't really care if it will be OK someday.

I just wish there was a way for me to look my age.

By the way, I have other four classes with this stupid boy...goodie...The worst thing is that I know he didn't mean it or something, he was just....stupid. So, I can't hate him, well, I can...but I'm not that kind of person.

XoXo
Gaby

Today I don't have much to say, so I'll share my latest poem with you. It's titled "Crazy Beautiful Desire". I'm trying something new in this one. I didn't rhyme as I always do, and I wrote it quickly. I know that I can write something so much better than this one, still I like it because it's a little about love. And I haven't written about love in a while.

I wrote this poem while I was thinking about fate, and things that happen in life. I hope that you like it and that you can relate to it. I'm also looking for some writing advice, if you have any suggestion or something that you think that can help me to improve my writing skills I would really appreciate it. I usually don't change much about my already written poems, but I think about it when I write something new. =)

Crazy Beautiful Desire

Crystal star, don't blame me for trying,
My heart's been longing to ask,
For this one last wish, upon the first star
I whisper, you listen: "Please, let him be mine"

One magical second, the right time and place,
Tomorrow fate could bring us together,
The distance existing between us would fade,
A whole new world, to share with my love.

His kiss would be the end of everything I know,
The beginning of a universe I would willingly adore,
This may never happen, but today's only a wish,
A hysterical illusion, a crazy beautiful desire.

We are all victims of our precious fate,
But, could fate be kind and give me his love?
As I walk away from you, crystal star shinning,
I can't wait for tomorrow...maybe he'll be mine.



I start school tomorrow, so I'll probably have something good to share with you. I'll probably do something stupid. =)
XoXo
Gaby

Right now I'm watching "South Park". Oh, I love those kids. Especially Butters and Cartman (I know, complete opposites). Today, I was looking through some of my psycho notes, and by psycho notes, I mean some notes that I took randomly last year. I wrote in my notebook useless things that I watched. At that time, it made sense. But now, I'm not so sure. I don't understand most of the information written, because of my special codes. And the little information I can understand is really stupid. Let me show you some of my notes so you can see what I'm talking about.

Uncodified spanish version:

*CIT 1:40 drugadict
*Zucarites-sin braquets
*Vi a IDV y a su novia platicando en el 4to piso
*11 2do piso-libro frances
*Yaz no ha visto a andres ns
*IDV, sueter negro, RB, pants negros, brazalete (verde, azul)
*EYZ1662

And all that boring, useless stuff means....

*Guy#1 at 1:40 in the computer lab
*Guy #2 has no braces anymore
*I saw Guy #3 talking with his girlfriend on the 4th floor
*---I have no idea---
*Girl #1 didn't see Guy #4
*Guy #3 was wearing a black sweater, white stripes, black pants, and a blue or green bracelet
*--I'm not sure about this one but I'm guessing it's a driver's license--

That's when I realized, I'm a psycho. But I have to admit that being a psycho is fun. By the way, I used the whole Guy #__, to protect their identities.

XoXo
Gaby

I had a weird nightmare a few days ago, I don't remember it clearly, but there's just some things that I can't forget about, even if I want to. In my dream, I was pregnant...do I need to say more? I'm seventeen, being pregnant is...a nightmare. Then, somebody asked me if I knew who was the father of the child. And I knew, but I didn't want him to know.

That was the nightmare. Unfortunately "the father of the child", is someone that I know...and now, I don't think I can see him the way I did before. After all, he was the father of my child in my dream, we should have a close relationship. Which is even more weird, since I don't even speak to him. I used to like him but I was too shy, and I never said anything. I don't even like him anymore, and he's still a stranger to me. Though not a complete stranger, I know a few things...his name, last name, address, phone number, family...Yeah, I know what you're thinking. And the answer is: "Yes, I am a stalker". Though I don't go too far, I just do it for fun and for sick love.

XoXo
Gaby