This past week was probably one of the most significant lately. I think I finally realized I do like Medicine, maybe not as much as I should. But I realize I do after all.

When I was in high school, every subject was a about just getting it over with. I'm glad that's finally over. Studying and going to classes isn't a burden anymore. I know that everything I learn at med school will be useful someday.

I love all my classes, and I want to know it all (even though that's impossible). I admire doctors, even if some of them are arrogant or mean. I want to be like them, I want to be a doctor. And that's all I know.

I have no complaints (that's new). I don't care if it's too hard, or if I have little life of my own. I don't care if it will take me seven years to graduate, or if my dear sleep has turned into my worst enemy, and I don't mind if everyone's having fun while I'm studying. I don't know if the last one is because I've got a hermit inside of me that finally has found a reason to stay home, or if it's because I really want to make it. I hope it's not because of me being a hermit. But it could be. It has happened before.

So now... all I have to do is do okay at school. Which apparently is quite difficult.

Anyway, I'll know soon if what I've done so far has been enough. Tests are coming this week, and the following. So I hope everything goes alright. I've never been that brilliant at school. I hope that changes, because for the first time in my life I've tried.

XoXo
Gaby

Remember McDreamy? Remember me describing him as...perfect? Well, he's not!!

Apparently every hot/cute guy on Earth is self-centered. I thought he was an exception, but he's not, and I hate him more than many other guys. We all hate him now (boys and girls). He's such a mean person, and he thinks he's so hot, so smart, and so nice. Well, I know he's NOT nice.

So, I'm back to loving rare hotness/cuteness. Because...

1) You don't have to worry about all the girls liking them.

2) They're not self-centered (well, they're not supposed to).

3) Maybe they're not that hot/cute but you see them that way. So, who cares?


Isn't that perfect?

XoXo
Gaby

I don't know where to begin, and I don't know how to explain it without it seeming senseless.

It all started this morning as I listened to a conversation between two mean girls (they were too loud). They were talking about a guy one of them went out yesterday, and I knew it was a guy from Friday's party. A cute guy I noticed. And according to what they said, he's also sweet and nice.

Suddenly a thought kept bothering me: "Why do nice guys always go for the pretty girls?" While us the ordinary girls out of the bunch, almost ugly, are ignored almost excluded.

I don't know if this is even truth, but for all I know, that's how it is.

Seriously, why do guys who are truly good (smart, kind, funny, sweet) are with stupid, mean, dumb or plastic girls? I mean, it's like...nice guys deserve better but they choose not to. And those girls don't deserve anything at all but they're lucky because of stupid nice guys. As we, the plain ones... are ignored.

I hate guys at this point, not all of them, but the stupid nice guys who get treated like trash by mean girls. You deserve it you idiots! You chose it, so get over it and I hope I'll never get to listen one of you complain about it, because I'll say something like: "I told you so. Get over it. And stop being gay about it."

I haven't shared this with anyone so I don't know what you'll think about it. Maybe it IS stupid and I have a feeling that it is. But I don't care. I'm all about complaining at this moment, so go with it. Just kidding. Do let me know what you think about this matter.

XoXo
Gaby

P.S. Reminded me of song by someone I hate: "The way she looks it makes you high. All the warning signs. Cause her blonde hair, her blue eyes. It makes you want to die. I know what she's all about I really hope you figure it out"

White Oleander is one of my favorite movies, it's a 2002 movie but I just discovered it a month ago, and I loved it. Even though I didn't get to see it from beginning to end because I found it randomly on TV, I fell in love with the story. I'm sure some of you have seen it, and if you haven't, I think you should.

After her uncompromising but seductive mother Ingrid (MICHELLE PFEIFFER) kills her boyfriend for abandoning her, fifteen-year-old Astrid (ALISON LOHMAN) witnesses her mother's arrest. It's an event that will change the course of both their lives. Suddenly, young Astrid is on her own.

Shuttled through a series of foster homes (and foster mothers including ROBIN WRIGHT PENN and RENÉE ZELLWEGER), Astrid struggles to master the techniques she needs if she's to survive the unyielding and often harsh world she is thrust into. Astrid tries desperately to forge her own identity within her ever-changing environment. From behind bars, Ingrid's powerful influence is the only constant in Astrid's life. For good, and for bad...

My favorite quote:

Ingrid to Astrid

Don't attach yourself to anyone who shows you the least bit of attention because you're lonely. Loneliness is the human condition. No one is ever going to fill that space. The best you can do is know yourself... know what you want.

When I first heard it in the movie, I felt like it was for me. I often attach to anyone who treats me well, it's like I'm not used to it so when someone does... I don't let go. If you think about it, it's quite pathetic.

About loneliness being the human condition, I do understand it, and a part of me strongly agrees, but my mind tries not to. Especially in the past years, I've found I've always been used to the idea of being better off alone, so sometimes I force myself to believe it's not true, that it's okay to need someone. But in the end... I guess I agree. I kind of have to.

XoXo
Gaby

Ok, so a while ago a girl was mean to me. And today I was telling a guy about it, but he didn't quite get it. Everyone I had told before understood what I was talking about, but he just didn't. I don't know if the fact that he's a guy had something to do with it. But here it is. You tell me if I'm exaggerating:

Mean girl: Hey Gaby. Do you like anyone from the class?

Me: No. Why?

Mean girl: Just wondering.... Come on. Not even someone that you think: "Oh, he'll never like me"?

Me: No...

Ok, you tell me, if you can find what's wrong with the conversation, and what was the mean thing she said to me. If you tell me I'm exaggerating I probably won't believe you, but still I want to see what you think. And who knows, maybe you'll convince me otherwise. If you do find what's so mean here, tell me what do you think it is.

Oh, and just so you know. This is a well-known mean girl. She's not nice. At all. And everyone agrees. Just take that in consideration.

XoXo
Gaby

P.S. As you may have noticed, I want to hear that she was mean, and I'm the totally right innocent victim. But please don't tell me that, unless you do think so. It's better that way.

Okay, technically he's not mine. But let's just leave it at that, it's ours (all of my girl classmates). We all have a crush on him. Some of us are sweet about it, some are not that sweet, more like dirty about it. But we all agree. He's SO cute or SO hot. Probably both. Awww.... and he's smart and kind. These two last qualities being my favorite ones, but you know, you can't overlook the fact that he's cute/hot.

Everytime we have class with him and he speaks, it's like an angel talking to us. That's me describing it, the other girls would describe it in other way, which I'd rather not mention. The thing is he's quite a motivation to all of us, at least to me, it's the only class I'm excellent at, and I look forward to. Hmmm. Maybe I should imagine that he's in every class. LOL.

So, what else can I tell you about him? Did I say he's perfect? Well, you'll probably hear me saying it quite a lot. He's about 22 years old, fourth year student, and he's...aaaw. Perfect?

But he's quite impossible. He has a girlfriend, and he's the kind of guy that cares about his girlfriend. One more quality! Well, kind of... you know what I mean.

I don't think anything relevant regarding this new found McDreamy will happen, but if something does, I'll let you know. It will probably be about me doing something foolish or whatever.

Hmm...I'm beginning to think that I like him more than the other girls do. But it's such a foolish crush that I'd rather not say.

XoXo
Gaby

I should let everyone know that this movie "Lovewrecked" is the worst movie ever. And I really wish I hadn't wasted two hours of my life watching this predictable, boring, and childish movie. I don't even want to see Amanda Bynes ever in my life again. I don't care if someday she wins an Oscar.

Maybe you'd think, just like I did, that two hot guys could save the movie, but they didn't, not even Jonathan Bennett.

What I really want to know is how on Earth did they make a hot guy like Jonathan Bennett look like the unnoticed best friend (which was less hot). That was totally amazing and unbelievable. That's the only thing I respect about that movie, the only thing done right if you ask me.

Just don't watch it, unless... no, don't watch it.

XoXo
Gaby

After almost four weeks of being in med school, I think it's getting better. Maybe it's not as bad as I thought it would be, maybe, just maybe, it's just a matter of time for me to get use to all these new things.

Speaking of new. I still can't adjust to my new friends. I just can't imagine hanging with them instead of my high school friends, I've never been in this kind of situations. I've always had someone from my old school in my new school. And now, all of sudden I'm alone, trying to fit in. By the way, my high school friends suck, they never call me when they hang out. Whatever... I finally understood Gandhi's quote: "Nobody can hurt me without my permission. "

On a side note, there are so many hot guys at med school it's like wow. You know... And they're not only hot, they're also smart, well, they must be, if not, what the hell are they doing at med school?

Anyway, life's getting better. Kind of...

XoXo
Gaby

P.S. Sorry for not reading blogs and not answering comments lately. School work has been quite frustrating and overwhelming lately. I'll try to catch up with the blogosphere this weekend. And hopefully someday I'll find a way to get everything done, and blog everyday. Yeah, sure...