I can't wait for these two weeks of vacation to be over. I know. It's stupid! I keep complaining about how frustrating school is, and now that I have two weeks to rest and have fun, I complain about that too. It's hard to explain, but I like my school life, even if that means bad grades and too much work. I like the people (most of them), and I like having something to do. Maybe a description of my vacation days would help.

You know what I did today? Watch TV. Yeah, Grey's Anatomy, Drake & Josh, Gilmore Girls, Cold Case, That' 70s Show, Hannah Montana, Will & Grace, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Dr. 90210, E! weekly, Lindsay Lohan's E! True Hollywood Story, Friends, and Exposed. And I feel like I missing some.

I know! Too much!

I did do something today though. I had my first driving lessons, and it was okay, I learned a few things I didn't know (and I can't believe I didn't) about driving. Being positive I could say I was okay. I'm concerned about tomorrow though, I will be out on the street, and I know I'm not ready for that. Hopefully, I'll be ready tomorrow, or else that could turn into a rather traumatic experience.

Finally I should probably say something about yesterday.

Yesterday... I was sad, and wasn't there for a friend on her birthday! I never do this, I mean, I always do this but not on birthdays. It used to be my rule: not on birthdays.

It was... bad timing I guess. She called last minute, and it was Sunday, and you may not know this but I don't even shower on Sundays. So, there I was, unshowered, sad, tired, and some other excuses crossed my mind. It's no big deal, I really do believe that, I don't know if it is, but I'm quite certain it's not. So, what if I missed her birthday party? I didn't have a birthday party myself. And a party usually is the same with or without me.

I'm just afraid I'm doing it again, being too tired and sad to be there for my friends. I tend to do this, and I don't even feel like stopping and I know it's wrong. I'm such a horrible person sometimes...

Maybe I'm not in a very happy place and I don't want people to see me. And I don't want to see how okay they are and feel even worse about myself. I know! Selfish!

Maybe I like my school life because it keeps my mind busy, and I don't think about the things I don't have to. Things I think about when I have time (like these two weeks). This thinking is killing me I gotta tell you. And the whole boringness these last days is not helping, I'm left alone with my awful thoughts.

XoXo
Gaby

Today was one of those days where everything I usually bear without complaining seems magnified.

All my cancelled classes sucked...I only had two classes but spent all my morning at school doing nothing.

This stupid boy that hates me keeps being annoying. Today he said hi to Danny but not to me, even though Danny was with me. What's wrong with him? He hates me that much?

My friends' questions and comments are somehow harmful, not because of them, and not because of the questions, because of me, why do I even care?

I forgot to bring money to school, so I didn't eat anything the whole morning.

The woman from the corner store keeps being mean and rude, I tell my mom to stop going there, because there is no need, but she won't listen because she says it's the only store nearby. I prefer not to eat than buying something from that bitch.

One of mom's coworkers called her just to say mean crazy things, I told her to hang up but she didn't. Seriously that bitch is literally crazy, I don't know why my mom puts up with it.


You know what...I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!!! If that stupid boy wants to be rude and ignore me, I can be rude too, and if I feel like it I'll ask him: ¡¿Cuál es tu chingado problema?! And I'll answer the whole truth to all of my friends' questions, and I'll answer without shame, because I have nothing to be ashamed. The other bitches are not my problem, but if I have a chance I could tell them: ¡¿Qué?! ¡Pinche vieja! ¡¿ Crees que me haces un favor vendiéndome tu mercancía de mierda de tu tienda hedionda?! ¡No! Ya me tienes harta con tus pinches jetas como si fuera mi culpa que tu vida sea una maldita mierda.

XoXo
Gaby

P.S. On the brightside, tonight I'll watch the first episode of the "new" season of Grey's Anatomy. I know it's not new, but it's new here in Mexico. So...good.

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Now playing: Panda - Procedimientos Para Llegar A Un Común Acuerdo
via FoxyTunes

Is my life as boring as I think it is? Or is it just me whining about it the whole time? I don't know, I feel like it's pretty much boring, even to me.

Anyway, today was nothing at all, I should have studied but I didn't. Don't worry there's no big test coming, it's just that, if I don't study everyday, it will be impossible to do so one day before the big test. And I made that mistake last year (twice), and I'm trying to change things this time. And I wonder, if I will make it. Of course I can, but will I? I guess we'll see.

Did I mention today was boring? I didn't go out or anything, actually right now, I'm thinking it was a complete waste of time to take a shower and get dressed. I don't even know if it's cold out there or not, I haven't even looked out the window. So, as you can see... complete waste of time...and clean clothes...and water...and soap...and shampoo. Ok, I think you know what I mean.

So, I should probably go now and read or something...and by reading I don't mean real meaningful reading. I mean, stupid reading...like anatomy, embryology, histology, and some other crap. Ok, don't get me wrong, I love all of my subjects, and I know they will be useful someday, but I'm really annoyed right now because of my crappy lame day, and tomorrow's Sunday, so I can't expect life to get better by tomorrow. Sundays always suck, I hate Sundays.


XoXo
Gaby

I don't know where to begin, and I don't know how to explain it without it seeming senseless.

It all started this morning as I listened to a conversation between two mean girls (they were too loud). They were talking about a guy one of them went out yesterday, and I knew it was a guy from Friday's party. A cute guy I noticed. And according to what they said, he's also sweet and nice.

Suddenly a thought kept bothering me: "Why do nice guys always go for the pretty girls?" While us the ordinary girls out of the bunch, almost ugly, are ignored almost excluded.

I don't know if this is even truth, but for all I know, that's how it is.

Seriously, why do guys who are truly good (smart, kind, funny, sweet) are with stupid, mean, dumb or plastic girls? I mean, it's like...nice guys deserve better but they choose not to. And those girls don't deserve anything at all but they're lucky because of stupid nice guys. As we, the plain ones... are ignored.

I hate guys at this point, not all of them, but the stupid nice guys who get treated like trash by mean girls. You deserve it you idiots! You chose it, so get over it and I hope I'll never get to listen one of you complain about it, because I'll say something like: "I told you so. Get over it. And stop being gay about it."

I haven't shared this with anyone so I don't know what you'll think about it. Maybe it IS stupid and I have a feeling that it is. But I don't care. I'm all about complaining at this moment, so go with it. Just kidding. Do let me know what you think about this matter.

XoXo
Gaby

P.S. Reminded me of song by someone I hate: "The way she looks it makes you high. All the warning signs. Cause her blonde hair, her blue eyes. It makes you want to die. I know what she's all about I really hope you figure it out"