Yesterday I stayed up until 1 a.m. studying for my embryology test, by that time I was sick and tired of studying, so I went to sleep. I wasn't even sleepy, but I was really tired and a little frustrated, I had lost my optimism and couldn't learn anything more.

Today I took the test, two tests actually (one's a lab). I thought I had done terribly on the first one, and was afraid I could fail. What frustrated me the most was the fact that embriology is supposed to be the easiest subject. So several thoughts crossed my mind: "I should have stayed until 3 a.m.", "If I fail this one, what can I expect from the others...", "I hope I can get a 60", and of course..."I want a tequila shot!".

But I think staying until 1 a.m. was okay, I got an 80 on the first test, and a 96 on the second. Pretty cool, huh? Good luck? Maybe!

Many of my classmates weren't happy with their grades, they thought there had been a mistake, because the "brightest ones" got 70's and the "dumbest ones" got 80's. I don't know if they were implying I was part of the "dumbest ones" (I hope not), but who cares?! I'll show them. I'm very motivated at this point.

So wish me luck!

Next week I'll take tests for the other subjects.

XoXo
Gaby

P.S. I still want my tequila shot!

This past week was probably one of the most significant lately. I think I finally realized I do like Medicine, maybe not as much as I should. But I realize I do after all.

When I was in high school, every subject was a about just getting it over with. I'm glad that's finally over. Studying and going to classes isn't a burden anymore. I know that everything I learn at med school will be useful someday.

I love all my classes, and I want to know it all (even though that's impossible). I admire doctors, even if some of them are arrogant or mean. I want to be like them, I want to be a doctor. And that's all I know.

I have no complaints (that's new). I don't care if it's too hard, or if I have little life of my own. I don't care if it will take me seven years to graduate, or if my dear sleep has turned into my worst enemy, and I don't mind if everyone's having fun while I'm studying. I don't know if the last one is because I've got a hermit inside of me that finally has found a reason to stay home, or if it's because I really want to make it. I hope it's not because of me being a hermit. But it could be. It has happened before.

So now... all I have to do is do okay at school. Which apparently is quite difficult.

Anyway, I'll know soon if what I've done so far has been enough. Tests are coming this week, and the following. So I hope everything goes alright. I've never been that brilliant at school. I hope that changes, because for the first time in my life I've tried.

XoXo
Gaby