So I haven't written in a while. I really try to write often, but this week was just overwhelming because of school. Let me give you a brief summary about my life lately. Ok, first of all. Days ago I promised to tell you more about the cute idiot that everyone says is an idiot but I think he's cute. Turns out he is and idiot. I'm not sure, but something's wrong with him. I just think that he is too immature. Don't get me wrong, I'm not super matture but he took immaturity to a whole new level.

Here's the description, you tell me what you think. Remember he's 17 or 18, I'm not sure.

• Makes fun of everyone (including me)
• Makes stupid jokes (sometimes they're just bad and I'm the only one laughing)
• Always brings to school a "new toy"
  
• Can't stop moving
• Is the clown of the class

Wow, I think I don't want to say more about my life, at least not today. Writing about him is exhausting. =)

Actually, dinner's ready so I better get going.

By the way, don't forget to visit the cool blog over there.


XoXo
Gaby

Uncertainty.

That's what I hate about being seventeen. I mean: "How can you be sure?". Everything's so overwhelming, every decision is so important in your life. And you can't even stop to think or cry about things, because life's too short, and next thing you know, you have already lost your chance. And maybe, uncertainty follows everyone forever, but right now, at this point of my life, it's just more than I can deal with.

Maybe this is a little too much, and I'm making a storm out of a glass of water, but it all started today when I failed my Calculus test. I know, I know, it's just a test, it doesn't mean that I can't do anything right, I'll do better the next time, I'll learn from this mistake...believe me, I know all of those.

It's just that it made me think a lot about my academic skills, if any. How am I going to manage being in college? There will be more pressure, and new things for me. Things that I haven't tried yet, and have no idea about. I will be exposed to a different environment, and to different subjects, different academic level. And I'll be by myself. Even if right now I feel that I'm by myself, I know that in college it will be just me. And it scares me a lot, but it has to be done.

The thing is that I want to be a doctor so badly, but I don't know if I've got what it takes. Maybe I should try something different, but I don't know what. I don't think I have any talent. And I know, I know, that everyone's supposed to have some talent, but I just don't have it. Well, I can pick up things from the floor with my toes but I don't think this will help me with my career choice. Right now you may be thinking that I have no self-esteem at all, but I think I have a little.

I know I can do something with myself, I just don't know how.


By the way don't forget to visit the cool blog over there. =)

And that's the only smile you'll see here today.


XoXo
Gaby

Usually when someone rents my blog, I don't have time to give an appropiate introduction. And I end up feeling a little bad about it. So today, I'm changing that.

My new renter's blog is named "Lilfunky1's blog", it's the cool blog over there. I really enjoyed reading what she wrote about almost making a blood donation, she really described her experience, and I think you'll like it.

Visit, read, comment, and enjoy. =)

Be good to my renter, and I'll tell you about the idiot from the last post tomorrow. =)



By the way, Calculus has come back to haunt me. =(

Tomorrow I have a test. Wish me luck. I think I'll need more that, though.


XoXo
Gaby

What's worse?

An idiot treating you like and idiot would?
Or an idiot treating you like a nice person would?

Personally, I think the first one is the expected behavior of a typical idiot, so you know how to handle it, and it's even easy to ignore it. On the other hand, the second one is surprising, and makes you wonder if it's a trap or something. Like it's too good to be true.

Today it happened to me. There's this boy that in my opinion is a cute stupid idiot. Strangely everyone tells me that he's just a stupid idiot, not cute at all, and not even funny. And that's contradictory because I always find his stupid jokes and comments amusing and funny.

Ok, so at this point, you might be suspecting that he's my little crush. Ok, he is. But, it's a little embarrassing, it seems like I'm the only girl that finds him as "crush material". Everyone tells me: "Hmm, I still don't understand why you like him." Believe me, I can't even explain it.

Anyways, a long time ago he did a nice little thing for me. Like the little thing that cheers you up in a bad day. He told me that everything would be alright, when I was feeling not so good. So I always thought he was a nice person. But lately I've been seeing him a lot because he's in most of my classes, and I realized that sometimes he is an idiot. The kind of idiot that's only nice to the people that he wants, whenever he wants.

He's my team mate in a class, and he wasn't really nice to me until today. There's something that doesn't make sense about him, he's nice sometimes but in a way he's unbearable. Until now, I was getting used to his idiotness, and was forgetting about him, and categorized him as "What an idiot!" But today, he was so kind and did things that I didn't expect at all. First of all, he returned a pen he borrowed from me, and the last time he borrowed something from me, I never saw it again. He also told me not to worry about something, and took care of it. That was amazing, I even asked him what was that about, why was he doing it. And he said he was returning a favor. What?!

I'm still thinking about that, but I guess I'll find what's hidden there soon. I think he wants something but don't know what, maybe a favor. Anyway, if I find out, I'll let you know. I feel bad about not trusting hm, and not believing that he's just returning a favor and being nice, but I can't be naive when potential cute idiots are involved. =)


XoXo
Gaby

I have been trying to convince everyone that Care Bears rock, because they do. They were my favorite characters during childhood, and still are, especially Bedtime Bear. I remember I had Care Bears band-aids, watched the movie, and had the toys. I think that right now I'm a bigger Care Bear lover than I used to be. I don't know, my love for them has grown. =)

Well, returning to the main point. Everything started when some of my friends were drawing some cartoons called "Fulanitos". And I kept telling them, that Care Bears were so much better then those guys. I started making a survey, and turns out that Fulanitos have some followers. But still I think that Care Bears are classic characters, and well, they take care of us, and live in clouds, and all that, which I think is great.

So, what do you think? Care Bears or Fulanitos?

Tell me what you think. =)

By the way I just heard the song "No One" by Aly & AJ, and I love the lyrics and the music. It's a great song.

Your life plays out on the shadows of the wall
You turn the light on to erase it all
You wonder what it's like to not feel worthless
So open all the blinds and all the curtains

No One, No One
Don't wanna be
No One
But me..

We are moving through the crowd...

XoXo
Gaby

Right now, my little french poodle is begging me for some food. And I act like I don't understand what she wants, and she starts acting desperate. Funny...

I keep telling my mom that we can make a fortune out of my little french poodle. I'm talking about sending a video to America's Funniest Videos. I have tons of ideas, she does a lot of weird and fun stuff.

I know that many dogs do different and funny things, but isn't it funny to look at and worth some money? Here's my list:

• Stealing tortillas from the table. Believe me, she does it. And the funny thing is that she only does it when she thinks nobody is seeing her. But I do see her...and then I see her with the tortilla and she escapes to eat it upstairs.
  

• Responding to the words "the cat" "the dog" "look" "let's go".When someone says "look the cat", she starts barking and looking for the cat everywhere, the same thing happens when someone says "look the dog", or sometimes just saying "look" makes her crazy. And when we say "let's go", she wants to go there too, and starts being annoying about that. I often use these words when I want her to be with me or to come with me, she doesn't like me or obey me a lot. So I have to cheat a little, it only works for a moment, though. Then she notices that there's no cat, and no dog, and she leaves.
  

• Hiding her own ball under the covers of the bed and then looking for it. Yes, the bed ends up being a mess. And her little game is fun to look at. It's like playing hide and seek by yourself...it's stupid.
  

• Sitting just when there's food involved, yeah, I kind of taught her to seat down, but now she only does it to get food. If there's no food there's no show. I think we have that in common.
  

• Digging on the floor. Yeah I don't know what's that about. My mom says she wants to make a nest or something. But, you know, the floor is still there, no nest.
  

• Hiding in the most weird small places, and in the dusty ones, I have to say. I don't understand this behavior, but I have noticed that she loves small places. Maybe it has to do with the "nest thing".
  

• Trying to catch flies, I bet many dogs do this.
  

• Steals, and unwraps candy. I know that she's a professional thief at home, but the "unwrapping thing"? That is what I call amazing talent.

Aren't dogs lovely? Especially when they do things with no training. But don't forget that they can embarrass you, bite you, bark at you, pee on you, throw up on you, eat your homework and many other things.

But it's all worth it. =)


XoXo
Gaby

Hi people, this post is a little different to what I usually write, so you can read it and form your own opinion, or visit the cool blog over there "Advertising For Success" and wait for the next regular post here. =)

I see you chose to continue reading. Ok, then.

After some time without writing, you would think that I have tons of anecdotes that I want to share, and that I have to choose one, and the process of elimination is exhausting. But it's not. My life has been a rollercoaster lately, and I don't want to bore you with my different issues, though they could be interesting for you, and even fun for me in some weird way.

For instance, the other day I went to bed an talked to God, yeah I did, I never do, but that day, I did talk to him. I don't even know if you can call that a "talk", I was crying in a desperate way, and begging him, to take me with him. I'm glad that is over by now, though it's likely to happen again. But I know, nothing lasts forever.

It's funny how things can bring me down one day, and the next day, I just see them the way they are...and try to be cool about it. And then after trying to be cool, I realize that I'm not that cool, and the "God, take me away! talk" takes place.

I know my problems are nothing compared to what happens to other people in the world, or to what will happen to me in a future. But still, it's painful. And if you're wondering...what on Earth is wrong in this girl's life. I'll tell you, future is overwhelming...

There's always the uncertainty of what will happen tomorrow. Sometimes it's overwhelming not knowing what you want in your future, and sometimes knowing what you want and being scared of not getting it. That's my case. I know what I want, but I lack many things to achieve it. Some fixable and $ome not.

All these things lead me to think about dead, and all these thinking will probably lead me to a poem...hopefully.

If I knew I would die tomorrow I would live happily the time that I have left, there would be no worries about my future, I would just live life, with no fear of what could happen tomorrow because I would be somewhere...anywhere but here.

But not suicide, not physical, not mental, not spritual. I will not surrender, because I dread the thought of: What could have been? And the certainty that we'll never know.

I want to be proud of everyday I live. The key is not to live each day as if it was the last one, the key is to live each day and at the end of it being proud. Lessons learned, achievements, fortunate events, but most of all, survival. For each day is a battle, and we may not win them all, but we shall try. Make some lemonade.

Life will take me to a place, a place I will call beautiful. I'll live my life, even if it wasn't what I had in mind. I'll make it right, and I'll call it fate. I'll make it beautiful, and my dream place.

And someday, the day I have been waiting for, will be here, I will die someday, and I will be proud of my life, and what I'm leaving behind. I'll deserve death, for death is a gift, and I won't steal it, and I won't reject it. I'll wait for God to bless me with it. And while he does, I'll learn to always trust him, and believe that he cares. And if there's no God, I'll believe in myself. For that's what keeps me breathing.


XoXo
Gaby

Nothing happened today. Just random stuff...finally some good grades on my report card, rain scared me for the first time... Oh, and my ex-crush knows my first and middle name, and he calls me Gaby because the other one sucks, and he knows that I hate it. Yeah, I don't need you to tell me this is stupid and childish, I know it is. But if it makes you feel better. Go ahead, tell me. I don't mind.

As I've already said, there's not much to tell, so here's my latest poem. I hope you enjoy it. And say something about it...writing advice, interpretation, thoughts....anything would be appreciated.


The One And Only Kiss

Bittersweet wound, placed upon her lips,
One more thief has left her speechless.
He shuts the door behind him.
Silence stings...

Darkness binds her liquid vision.
The starving soul seeking some light.
The pureness of her heart, still missing.
Hope lingers...

Sleeping beauty, once again lost in lonely fantasy.
Motionless patience, waiting for
The one and only kiss...


XoXo
Gaby

P.S. Don't forget to visit the cool blog over there (my renter). =)

I haven't written in a while. And maybe you're expecting a good post, since there hasn't been one in a couple of days. I hope you are pleased by this one.

Have you ever done something bad, and days after that you're still feeling guilty? Even if you just stole chewing gum from Wal-Mart? How about when you do something bad, for the first time and you get caught? Yeah, getting caught cheating during a test, while everybody is cheating but nobody cares about them, even if they do it all the time and you don't.

Yeah, that's life.

Here's one of my stories, the most recent one.

It happened in a summer night, there were lots of plastic ducks floating in the water, it was a game from the fair. You had to pick a duckie, and see the number written in the bottom of it. Then they would give you a lame prize according to the number. When I saw the yellow duckies I remembered I'd always wanted one, but I never had one. And I wanted a duckie so much, but they weren't for sale, they were part of the game. I still thought they were lovely, and the classical toy that I never had. Here's my confession, which I think is pretty predictable... I stole a plastic duck (#89 by the way). Actually I didn't steal it, but I told someone else to steal it for me, and he did. I still can't help feeling bad about it, and it's a little stupid because I think the person running the game didn't notice, since there were so many ducks. I still think about it when I see "Quaky Trump", yeah my stolen ducky has a name. And I think that I would probably wouldn't like someone stealing from me, and I know I don't like it, I've been robbed several times. Those bastards! Anyway, I still think about the mother and his little kid running the ducky game...yeah I feel guilty, and I think that it could have been me. I guess some of us can't be bad. And that makes me feel good about myself, but that only happens when I'm not feeling guilty about my crime. Just kidding, I'm trying to get over it.

I think I'll never forget this weird anecdote. These kind of moments are the ones that stay in your memory, like the first time you didn't do a homework, or the first time you wore glasses, your first day at school, your first crush...


XoXo
Gaby

Today I was chatting with my friend Sakura, and I was describing the hideous details about my hideous day. Then I realized: "This is great material for my blog." So here I am, I know that my day could have been worse. I'm just glad it's over.

I got a 73 on my Health Sciences test, that's good compared to the grades of some of my classmates. I still think that I could have done better. This time, I do want to blame the teacher, and I don't even hate her. I'll tell you the story, you tell me what you think. The part of the test that everyone got wrong was from a really bad class. And I knew it from the start, right there during the class. My teacher wanted to teach us a whole chapter in one class, we didn't even have time to take notes, she was going way too fast. What pissed me off was the fact that she had the nerve to say: "I don't know why this happened, I explained clearly the chapter, I dedicated a whole class..." WTF! I still remember at the beginning of that class, she said: "Hurry up, in this class we need to go through the whole chapter." She knew that it was too much information for one class.

It's no coincidence, that every student in the class got that part wrong...And what sucks the most is that if that part would have been right or removed, I would have gotten a 90 and something.

Oh, and I will only mention that some answers were right and I told her that, and she denied it. I have proof, believe me.

Whatever...

After that, during french class, my teacher told us to work with a partner. The thing is that I don't get along with anyone there. I know, it sounds a little antisocial, and probably it is. I dislike one part of the class, and the other part is, well, I don't talk to them if I can help it. I always work alone when we have to work with a partner, I was starting to get used to it. Until today, when the teacher asked me if I was going to work alone. I knew what she was thinking, she was thinking that I was antisocial and stuff.

Whatever...

Literature class was next, and my friend in that class didn't go. I thougt I'd be OK, because I know some people there. I was wrong...We had to work in teams, and I didn't go to the last class so I didn't know what we had to do. So I was there, doing nothing. I hate when that happens. I hate when I'm in a team, and I don't know what to do, and I don't do anything. I feel so useless.

Maybe you think that all these is enough for one day. Apparently, it's not. Let me give you an idea:

• What would you do if you'd find someone you despise cute?
• What would you do if you've just gotten to the first floor and realize that your math notebook is in your locker on the fourth floor and you need it?
• What if nobody wants to do you an easy favor?
  
• What if you had the perfect chance to confront the health sciences teacher?
• What if you were thirsty and there was someone stopping you from getting water?
  

I would answer these questions, now, but I think it's just too much for today. Maybe tomorrow, if there's nothing else to tell.


XoXo
Gaby

P.S. I know antisocial people can turn into murderers, or so I've heard. Now that I think about it, I do want to kill some people. LOL. I'm more likely to be a passive agressive person.

Today I have good news.

I won't be a gardener. At least that's what the test I took a couple of weeks ago shows. The test contained some suspicious questions about my relationship with nature, it was obvious that if I answered: "Yes, I love spending time in the garden...", the results would have said that I would be a great gardener. Duh...even I can figure that out.

Anyways, I answered the truth, and the truth is that I don't know anything about gardens. I loved "The Secret Garden" though. Don't get me wrong. I love gardens and I love nature, but the test questions were...funny and weird. Like...Do you have the ability to make plants "grow"? What?! I didn't know that required a super power. I learned at school that they only needed water, earth, sunlight, and of course, the seed to grow. I guess I was wrong.

Everyday I learn something new about this weird world. =)

At this point, maybe you're asking: Where did this came from? Wouldn't it be smarter to mention your main interests, instead of a "not being a gardener" two paragraph babbling?

According to the test results, I'm interested on being a writer or a doctor. I already knew that I wanted to be a doctor and that I was interested in writing. So, I have a question. Why did they make me take a four hour test just to tell me what I already knew?! Seriously!

I have to add that I would love to be a doctor. The only thing that makes me doubt a little, is that being a doctor doesn't involve a lot of creativity, and I love creativity. Anyways, what I wanted to let you know is that flowers and plants are now safe from me. =P



XoXo
Gaby

Hi people!!!!

Yay, I think today was my lucky day. Many things happened that made me think: "Hmm too good to be true". I think life gave me this lucky day because last weekend was hell.

Ok, life...I forgive you, but promise you won't do it again. What? I didn't hear you? Oh, don't worry it's ok, just don't do it again.

Actually nothing happened, at least nothing super good. My day didn't suck as usual, so I guess that's why I felt so lucky. Nothing bad happened. I guess that's it.

Anyways, I think it's my duty to share this story with you, hoping it will make you feel better. If you think about it the right way, you can even consider it lucky.

I was walking up the stairs, I had a French test at the fourth floor. At this point I have to say, that I never do any exercise so my physical condition is worse than bad. So, when I reached the third floor I was almost dying. But a friend of mine was with me, and she was begging me for us to get a rest, and I told her: "Hush, you wanted me to hurry up, so now, there won't be a rest for you." Why did I say that? Because she's always so desperate, and it's annoying the way she's always saying: "Hurry up, let's go". It doesn't matter the time and place , she always wants to leave, and she wants to leave quickly. So, you can imagine, that I was a little tired about her attitude, and I kind of wanted to punish her in a funny way. Why funny? Because it was funny the way she was begging for me to stop and wait for her (I know this sounds cruel, believe me, it's not). I didn't care that making her miserable involved me being tired. I didn't know we were making a scene until for some random reason I turned around, and I noticed the boy (my crush) right behind me, and laughing. I want to believe that he was thinking about something else, but deep in my mind I think it's good if he noticed me. Even if he only knows the cruel unhealthy side of me.

I don't know how I always manage to look stupid, lazy, crazy...in front of him. But you know, on the brightside...he notices me. And I think that he should remember me after all I've done.


XoXo
Gaby

Have you ever made a video for a school project?

I know I have. And I know it has always been a complete disaster. The bad camera with low battery, the gigling, the lines that are hard to remember, the poor story, the bad acting, the technical difficulties, disorganization, stupid team mates...

Unfortunately today I have to go through the whole process once again. I have to make a Newscast video. I hope it won't be a disaster, but basing on my past experiences I can't expect much.

Let me share with you my past experiences:

• Terror story: It was a group project. We had to make a video for English class. We thought that it would be cool to make it a terror one. We had the script, the camera, the music, and an awesome old house. I know, it sounds good, but the result was a 3 minute weird dark video. And I still remember the line: "I know an old mansion that is all alone, and there are tons of spirits." And that wasn't even my line, but I think that's the only line in that video. The main problem: bad camera with low battery.
  
• Romeo and Juliet: I don't know how this one turned out, I didn't watch the final result. But the process was painful. The whole class had to make a video about Romeo and Juliet. Fortunately my part was small, still it was a horrible experience. And the lines were difficult because of the weird Shakespeare English. And the sun, the sun was unbearable. That's how I'll describe it. The main problem: stupid members and disorganization.
  
• A bank robbery: The result was clean and descent, not excellent but still clean. The acting was bad, the time we used was amazingly little. How did this happen? We paid for the editting and that was it. Main problem: too good to be true.
  
• Adolescence reportage: I still remember that it was a complete disaster, a hilarious painful disaster. I hope that video is destroyed by now. It was a horrible thing to see, and a horrible thing to shoot. The final result: a dark hysterical video, and it wasn't supposed to be hysterical. Main problem: stupid, stupid story, and bad camera with low battery.
  

As you can see, I can't have great expectations for the shooting today. I just hope that we don't waste much time and that the result is descent. I have to add, that there won't be any editting. So go figure.

By the way, don't forget to visit my renter, I enjoy reading his entries, especially the ones about music. =)


XoXo
Gaby