Hello everyone. =)
I have many things to share with you. A lot has happened. I was admitted in med school here, and I have been attending to some classes. Bad news...I don't want to stay here, I don't like it here. Sure it would be easier, but I just don't want to. I don't even like it now. I don't know exactly what bothers me about it.
I still have hopes of leaving. I'm still waiting for an answer from the other school, hopefully I'll get into that one, and I'll be able to go there. If you're wondering what's the problem of going there, the problem is money. It's out of state, so it would be more expensive than the school here. And I may not be able to afford it.
I hate money, especially because I don't have it. And lately that's all I've been thinking about, about how much I want money, it's becoming a priority. Well, not a top priority, I know that money isn't everything, and you can't buy happiness, blah blah blah. It's just...all my life I haven't been able to buy all the things I want, and I'm just tired. Tired of hearing that I can't have things (normal things), I can't wait anymore. I'm sick of waiting.
I'm not poor or anything, but I've always lived in a somehow wealthy environment, and not being able to have what everyone else has, is quite traumatic. I know that this seems like a stupid problem. But you know what? I realized a few days ago, that I have a crappy life. I always convinced myself that my life was okay compared to others, well, I'll tell you something, my life is crappy just as everyone else's. No dad, no money, nothing really interesting about me, and an everlasting depression.
Was this confusing? Yes? No?
I hate hate this school. I don't even want to imagine myself in it.
Hmm, I didn't explain the problem with this school, maybe in the next post. I still have to figure some things out.
I have many things to share with you. A lot has happened. I was admitted in med school here, and I have been attending to some classes. Bad news...I don't want to stay here, I don't like it here. Sure it would be easier, but I just don't want to. I don't even like it now. I don't know exactly what bothers me about it.
I still have hopes of leaving. I'm still waiting for an answer from the other school, hopefully I'll get into that one, and I'll be able to go there. If you're wondering what's the problem of going there, the problem is money. It's out of state, so it would be more expensive than the school here. And I may not be able to afford it.
I hate money, especially because I don't have it. And lately that's all I've been thinking about, about how much I want money, it's becoming a priority. Well, not a top priority, I know that money isn't everything, and you can't buy happiness, blah blah blah. It's just...all my life I haven't been able to buy all the things I want, and I'm just tired. Tired of hearing that I can't have things (normal things), I can't wait anymore. I'm sick of waiting.
I'm not poor or anything, but I've always lived in a somehow wealthy environment, and not being able to have what everyone else has, is quite traumatic. I know that this seems like a stupid problem. But you know what? I realized a few days ago, that I have a crappy life. I always convinced myself that my life was okay compared to others, well, I'll tell you something, my life is crappy just as everyone else's. No dad, no money, nothing really interesting about me, and an everlasting depression.
Was this confusing? Yes? No?
I hate hate this school. I don't even want to imagine myself in it.
Hmm, I didn't explain the problem with this school, maybe in the next post. I still have to figure some things out.
XoXo
Gaby
Labels: angry, college, depression, family, flaws, future, pathetic, sad
2 Comments:
Congratulations on being admitted into med school!
Do they offer some sort of loan? I know in Ontario they have OSAP which loans students as much money as they need for the school year and you have to pay it back. The downer part is that you end up paying back so much more money adn it buts you in debt but if you really dislike that school, you might be able to borrow money on a loan for school? Maybe?
It would be hard not having a dad, I know I get annoyed with not having a lot of money. I can't buy a lot of things either, and I can't afford to go a lot of places. But you know what? Its what you make of things. I'm happy spending time with people, even if I don't get to spend a lot of money.
I would still like to go on a huge shopping spree and buy that new shirt I saw at the mall, but I know I don't need to. It would be nice!
I'm glad your back though. UPDATE MORE! lol.
sarcastica:
Hmmm there are scholarships but they only cover the tuition which is like $200 USD, so it's not much. It's good though, but I would still struggle with paying rent, books, and food.
Yes, I just want to have the normal stuff, you know. What everyone has. Just to be like the same.
Sure, I'll try updating more often.
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