So I FINALLY realized I have no chance. No chance at all. I can't believe it took me this long, but I'm glad it happened after all.
Yesterday was a bad bad day, but I won't tell anyone. I don't want people to know I had a bad day, because it really sucked I guess. But now I see that this bad day has been waiting to happen for so long, and now I really can get over it and say: "Next!"
Want to know what happened? Well, it was pathetic, as almost everything lately. I went out with my friends, we were supposed to have a good time, and I guess they did have a good time. But not me. I don't know why...I guess it's my boring issue again.
I had two chances to follow my heart and get out of the place. But no, I had to follow him like a fool, as if he cared at all. And after both chances I had a terrible terrible time.... okay I'm exagerating a bit, let's just say that all the time I was wishing to be home.
I wasn't in the mood to do any of the things we did. Wondering what things? Just normal stuff like jumping, drinking, talking, dancing, singing, and laughing. Argh...
Let's get back to the point. I had several reasons for not going (my eye was hurting, and some previous bad experiences under the same conditions), but NO, I had to ignore those bad signs and go following him like a stupid stupid fool.
The consequences? I had a bad time, I was totally ignored and out of place, and he...he was lying on the floor with his ex girlfriend . I'm SO stupid.
And you know, if he wants to play the ignoring game, I'll be better. Okay, he probably doesn't know he's playing with me, and that probably is because he's not playing at all....As I've said. My situation is so...and sorry for saying this word a million times...PATHETIC!
Lessons learned and mental notes:
Yesterday was a bad bad day, but I won't tell anyone. I don't want people to know I had a bad day, because it really sucked I guess. But now I see that this bad day has been waiting to happen for so long, and now I really can get over it and say: "Next!"
Want to know what happened? Well, it was pathetic, as almost everything lately. I went out with my friends, we were supposed to have a good time, and I guess they did have a good time. But not me. I don't know why...I guess it's my boring issue again.
I had two chances to follow my heart and get out of the place. But no, I had to follow him like a fool, as if he cared at all. And after both chances I had a terrible terrible time.... okay I'm exagerating a bit, let's just say that all the time I was wishing to be home.
I wasn't in the mood to do any of the things we did. Wondering what things? Just normal stuff like jumping, drinking, talking, dancing, singing, and laughing. Argh...
Let's get back to the point. I had several reasons for not going (my eye was hurting, and some previous bad experiences under the same conditions), but NO, I had to ignore those bad signs and go following him like a stupid stupid fool.
The consequences? I had a bad time, I was totally ignored and out of place, and he...he was lying on the floor with his ex girlfriend . I'm SO stupid.
And you know, if he wants to play the ignoring game, I'll be better. Okay, he probably doesn't know he's playing with me, and that probably is because he's not playing at all....As I've said. My situation is so...and sorry for saying this word a million times...PATHETIC!
Lessons learned and mental notes:
- From now on, I should follow my heart under any circumstances
- No matter what he does I should be aware that he doesn't care at all about me
- I have no chance (not pessimistic, just realistic)
- I'm not a fun person, not in the regular way, and I should never forget that before taking any decision
- Never go into crowded places where I don't belong
- If I can't even see the floor because I can't wear my contact lenses, I probably shouldn't go out
- And never, never take decisions depending on someone who doesn't care about me at all.
XoXo
Gaby
Gaby
2 Comments:
This is just a sign that he doesn't deserve you. If this guy is too stupid to realize how amazing you are, then eff him. Once you get out of high school you'll find yourself hanging with guys that suit you better, don't you worry!
Totally agree with Miss Misery. The dude sounds like a major toad anyway. I have a couple more years yet before I'm out of high school (and both of my jobs leave very little time for boy relations anyway), so here's to hoping college will be better.
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