I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to do anything. I could make a thousand excuses but I know it's depression talking. Sometimes I like to think it left without me noticing. But then it returns and reminds me, that just doesn't happen. Does it?
As I'm writing to my friend from Taiwan, I tell her about my life for the last three years. And realize it was nothing. I want to write about light things but I can't help writing about my "miserable existence". Sorry about that, it's me being a drama queen.
Maybe I shouldn't write this way. But at this point I really don't care if it's inappropriate, disturbing or weird. It is what it is.
As I'm writing to my friend from Taiwan, I tell her about my life for the last three years. And realize it was nothing. I want to write about light things but I can't help writing about my "miserable existence". Sorry about that, it's me being a drama queen.
Oh, how I hate my shyness, and how I hate my pride, how I hate everything that’s wrong with me. And how I wish I had something to compensate the messed things about me.
If only you knew how life has changed. I’m so miserable, and I can’t believe it happened to me. How did I become this? When will it be over? Will it be over?
Maybe I shouldn't write this way. But at this point I really don't care if it's inappropriate, disturbing or weird. It is what it is.
XoXo
Gaby
Gaby
P.S. I hate the word depression, is that just me?
Labels: depression, flaws, friends, letter, pathetic
5 Comments:
Oh, not just you Gaby, I remember the days when I didn't want to talk to old friends, dodging their questions on the phone, just because they all moved forward in life, married or had kids, but I stuck where I was.
There's nothing wrong feeling depressed about it, we all have feelings and we definitely need to acknowledge them, and acknowledge who we currently are, and acknowledge life's ups and downs - then we can start to make it better.
Time will bring changes, just keep your eyes and heart open, things will get better. God's plan for everyone is different....
Ya I think we all feel that way sometimes.
I had the word depression. I never like to describe how I am feeling as "depression" I just say I'm having an off/bad day.
Feelings can sometimes be overwhelming, but its better to have them then to not have them.
Gaby, I know all too well how depression goes. I go through spells where I just want the world to leave me alone. But after some time I'm ok. It's ok to put your feelings down. It's ok
{{{{HUGS}}}}
Sassy
You should always write about what you're feeling. Even if it is depression.
And, that word is horrible. It sounds like you're being pressed and pounded and under all this stress...
It just sounds so empty.
amelia:
Sometimes it feels like I've been waiting for changes since forever.
sarcastica:
Yeah, I rather say I'm sad, tired, or whatever, but depressions seems like too much.
sassy:
Yepp, it's just a matter of time.
kat:
I hate that word, and I think I hate it because I know it's a serious, and I hate it when people use it randomly to describe a bad day. If only they knew... you know.
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