Remember Big Loser? Turns out I am the loser. I'm okay now but Friday night was tough. I found out he's actually interested in the girl I saw him with. I don't know then, why he called me, but I'm asuming that he did it because he's tremendously stupid and a perfect idiot as I had said once.

I felt so stupid, can you imagine it? I had to pretend I didn't care, but I could feel my stomach filling up with something that wanted to escape in the form of tears. I wanted to cry, not because I was sad, but because I was angry, frustrated, and little bit hurt. But no longer confused. Obviously. But I didn't cry, I couldn't, it wasn't bad enough.

I'm glad I found out, it would have been stupid to keep thinking about him while he was interested in some other girl. Actually, I'm really amazed by how I'm feeling right now, relieved, and fine. Still, it wouldn't hurt for a friend to tell me that I'm way better than that girl. She isn't a bad person, and she's not ugly (that's what bothers me). I don't find her pretty, but guys have some weird taste sometimes. Anyway, the fact that he isn't cute or hot, helped a lot. He's a capricorn though, but he smokes, so....whatever. Everything happens for a reason, right? Wow, did I mention I'm amazed by how well I took it?

What has changed? Less pride left? Pride stronger than ever? LOL

I secretly wish that she doesn't go out with him, not to have him for myself, but for him to have none. Hihihi. He's not a bad person, but he's like any other guy as I said before.

XoXo
Gaby


P.S. I know I'm not a loser, but I felt like one, after seeing the huge difference between my previous post and the reality. Tough reality.