I can't wait for these two weeks of vacation to be over. I know. It's stupid! I keep complaining about how frustrating school is, and now that I have two weeks to rest and have fun, I complain about that too. It's hard to explain, but I like my school life, even if that means bad grades and too much work. I like the people (most of them), and I like having something to do. Maybe a description of my vacation days would help.
You know what I did today? Watch TV. Yeah, Grey's Anatomy, Drake & Josh, Gilmore Girls, Cold Case, That' 70s Show, Hannah Montana, Will & Grace, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Dr. 90210, E! weekly, Lindsay Lohan's E! True Hollywood Story, Friends, and Exposed. And I feel like I missing some.
I know! Too much!
I did do something today though. I had my first driving lessons, and it was okay, I learned a few things I didn't know (and I can't believe I didn't) about driving. Being positive I could say I was okay. I'm concerned about tomorrow though, I will be out on the street, and I know I'm not ready for that. Hopefully, I'll be ready tomorrow, or else that could turn into a rather traumatic experience.
Finally I should probably say something about yesterday.
Yesterday... I was sad, and wasn't there for a friend on her birthday! I never do this, I mean, I always do this but not on birthdays. It used to be my rule: not on birthdays.
It was... bad timing I guess. She called last minute, and it was Sunday, and you may not know this but I don't even shower on Sundays. So, there I was, unshowered, sad, tired, and some other excuses crossed my mind. It's no big deal, I really do believe that, I don't know if it is, but I'm quite certain it's not. So, what if I missed her birthday party? I didn't have a birthday party myself. And a party usually is the same with or without me.
I'm just afraid I'm doing it again, being too tired and sad to be there for my friends. I tend to do this, and I don't even feel like stopping and I know it's wrong. I'm such a horrible person sometimes...
Maybe I'm not in a very happy place and I don't want people to see me. And I don't want to see how okay they are and feel even worse about myself. I know! Selfish!
Maybe I like my school life because it keeps my mind busy, and I don't think about the things I don't have to. Things I think about when I have time (like these two weeks). This thinking is killing me I gotta tell you. And the whole boringness these last days is not helping, I'm left alone with my awful thoughts.
XoXo
Gaby
You know what I did today? Watch TV. Yeah, Grey's Anatomy, Drake & Josh, Gilmore Girls, Cold Case, That' 70s Show, Hannah Montana, Will & Grace, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, Dr. 90210, E! weekly, Lindsay Lohan's E! True Hollywood Story, Friends, and Exposed. And I feel like I missing some.
I know! Too much!
I did do something today though. I had my first driving lessons, and it was okay, I learned a few things I didn't know (and I can't believe I didn't) about driving. Being positive I could say I was okay. I'm concerned about tomorrow though, I will be out on the street, and I know I'm not ready for that. Hopefully, I'll be ready tomorrow, or else that could turn into a rather traumatic experience.
Finally I should probably say something about yesterday.
Yesterday... I was sad, and wasn't there for a friend on her birthday! I never do this, I mean, I always do this but not on birthdays. It used to be my rule: not on birthdays.
It was... bad timing I guess. She called last minute, and it was Sunday, and you may not know this but I don't even shower on Sundays. So, there I was, unshowered, sad, tired, and some other excuses crossed my mind. It's no big deal, I really do believe that, I don't know if it is, but I'm quite certain it's not. So, what if I missed her birthday party? I didn't have a birthday party myself. And a party usually is the same with or without me.
I'm just afraid I'm doing it again, being too tired and sad to be there for my friends. I tend to do this, and I don't even feel like stopping and I know it's wrong. I'm such a horrible person sometimes...
Maybe I'm not in a very happy place and I don't want people to see me. And I don't want to see how okay they are and feel even worse about myself. I know! Selfish!
Maybe I like my school life because it keeps my mind busy, and I don't think about the things I don't have to. Things I think about when I have time (like these two weeks). This thinking is killing me I gotta tell you. And the whole boringness these last days is not helping, I'm left alone with my awful thoughts.
XoXo
Gaby
Labels: complaints, driving, friends, high school, sad, Sunday, tv, vacation
1 Comments:
I don't ever remember having two weeks off. But if I did, I'd be reading up a storm. And going to the movies.
Good luck on the driving lessons. I took those during my senior yr in high school through a driving school. I don't think my parents were up to the task of ever teaching my sister and I how to drive. I have to say, though, that dude made me a very careful driver. I've never been in an accident (knock on wood)
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